Likely to Proceed

David Foster Wallace and John Updike are still speaking to you, kind of

Isabelle Archer — Fri, 06 Mar 2009 08:22:09 +0000

This week’s NEW YORKER features articles from both of them. Like the New Yorker wasn’t competitive enough already, now living authors are competing with the not-living.

Whatever Woody

Isabelle Archer — Wed, 04 Mar 2009 19:50:51 +0000

So Woody Allen’s latest movie is going to open the Tribeca Film Festival.

The quote they got from Mr. Allen about the premiere: “A lovely idea of showing my film in a film festival in my own city. It’s very exciting.”

Woody Allen is nothing if not good with words, which makes me wonder if his peculiar phrasing is deliberately facetious.

Also, that production still! Larry David looks like a CGI Dumbledore, or a wax figure at Mme Tussaud’s, or both.

i like making anonymous memes

Isabelle Archer — Wed, 25 Feb 2009 15:37:31 +0000

Here are the rules – post this list on your profile (in Notes) replacing my answers with yours. Tag some people to do the same thing.

1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? No.

2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? Yesterday.

3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? No.

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT? Turkey.

5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS? No.

6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? Yes, I hope always yes.

7. DO YOU USE SARCASM? No, never. Winky.

8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? Yes.

9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? Probably for the right guy.

10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? Waffle-o’s! I mean…Smart Start?

11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? No.

12. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM? Mint oreo. Or just anything at Coldstone. Nothing fruity though. Give me a vanilla base and put sprinkles and nuts and the kitchen sink on it and I’m happy.

13. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE? OMITTED

14. RED OR PINK? OMITTED

15. WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF? Not disciplined like I want to be.

16. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST? OMITTED.

17. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO COMPLETE THIS LIST? The whole world? No that seems like it would be a waste of time.

18. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING? Pants? Shoes? Get real, I’m at my computer.

19. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? Refrigerator hum.

20. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? Not Tickle Me Pink, but it’s the only one I can remember.

21. FAVORITE SMELLS? The nut vendors on the street…the nuts, not the actual vendors.

22. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? Mama.

23. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU? Meh.

24. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH? Baseball. Figure skating.

25. HAIR COLOR? OMITTED

26. EYE COLOR? OMITTED

27. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? Yes

28. FAVORITE FOODS? White chocolate macadamia cookies, also broccoli.

29. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS? Happy endings.

30. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? September (Woody Allen)

31. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING? Blue.

32. SUMMER OR WINTER? Autumn.

33. HUGS OR KISSES? Kisses.

34. MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND? No one, as I am not going to send it to anyone.

35. LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND? Ditto.

36. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW? Rabbit, Run, by John Updike, because he’s dead now so I can really appreciate him.

37. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? They still make mouse pads?

38. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON TV LAST NIGHT? Obama’s speech. But the night before, Fashion Police Oscars edition!!

39. FAVORITE SOUND(S): No idea.

40. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES? Beatles.

41. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME? Not sure, I guess Italy is the furthest East?

42. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT? None!! Well maybe my powers haven’t emerged yet. I need a yogi mentor.

43. WHERE WERE YOU BORN? New York

44. WHOSE ANSWERS ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO GETTING BACK? Sorry, no one’s. I’m selfish. That’s my special talent.

My New Indie Band Meme

Isabelle Archer — Tue, 24 Feb 2009 18:04:04 +0000

Here’s how it goes. You are about to have your own band’s CD cover. Follow these directions to the letter. It’s fun and requires no thought at all. Go to……
1. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Random
The first article title on the page is the name of your band.
2. http://www.quotationspage.com/random.php3
The last four words of the very last quote is the title of your album.
3. http://www.flickr.com/explore/interesting/7days/
The third picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover.
4. Use your graphics program of choice to throw them together, and post the result in your own journal because it’s more amusing that way.

MINE could not be better.

Band name: Hartford Whalers

Album title: What You Thought It Was Going to Look Like

Album art:

oscar predictions 2009

Isabelle Archer — Sun, 22 Feb 2009 07:34:57 +0000

calling it now before it’s too late…

actor: should and will be mickey rourke

actress: will be winslet, but probably i’d give it to streep. i know it’s not like she needs another one; it’s just that i think she’s unparalleled.

supporting actor: heath ledger, should and will.

supporting actress: i’m for penelope cruz, and actually i think it will go to her. i know taraji p henson is the favorite, and she was wonderful, but who’s really psyched about benjamin button?

director: will go to danny boyle, but i think i’d give it to van sant

writer original: will be milk, but i think it should go to wall-e, which is a warning about the future path we’re all headed on. DISCLAIMER: i have not yet seen in bruges (just got it on netflix today!) but i bet i’ll love it.

writer adapted: will be slumdog…fine, as long as benjamin button doesn’t win.

cinematography: will be slumdog, but i think the best thing benjamin button had going for it was its look

best film: will be slumdog, but i preferred milk. hell, i preferred rachel getting married.

High School Classical

Isabelle Archer — Mon, 02 Feb 2009 23:25:10 +0000

Babysitting the other night, I saw High School Musical for the first time, probably the 100th time these kids have seen it. There is a scene in which the lead boy, Zac Efron, speaks to his girlfriend, whose name may or may not be Vanessa Hudgens (?), from her backyard, while she is on her balcony. Instead of shouting to each other, they speak via cell phone. Two things struck me:

1. Parents are screwed with cell phones. Look how free these kids are! They can talk and plan and plot and scheme all without waking anyone up.

2. I am quite certain that the Romeo and Juliet reference evaded all of the children for whom I was babysitting – fine, totally acceptable, etc, they won’t read Shakespeare for years. But when they finally DO, will William Shakespeare’s tragedy be forever tied to Zac Efron’s beaming moon face? That hardly seems fair.

Third thing. How much makeup do they put on that boy?

Favorite Movies, Greatest Films

Isabelle Archer — Sun, 01 Feb 2009 17:44:04 +0000

I have always had a hard time with the ‘favorite movie’ question, because there are so many reasons to watch a movie. Books are different – the books I enjoy reading again and again are usually also books I consider to be brilliantly written and composed. Music is a little trickier because there are the bands and musicians one loves and admires, and then there are ‘guilty pleasure’ songs, pop with hooks you can’t get out of your head (I actually don’t really buy into this distinction – there are many pop artists whose work I admire no less than famed composer X).

With film, though, I think you need at least two lists, maybe three. There are films I admire and recognize as brilliant, but good lord I would never curl up with them on a rainy night at home. Example – Close-Up, which is an incredible film by Iranian filmmaker Abbas Kiarostami that everyone should be required to watch (perhaps twice in order to understand it). Then there are movies I grew up watching every weekend of my childhood, in a continuous loop, that aren’t blowing any minds but that I love. Example – The First Wives Club, which I inexplicably identified with at a young age. Then there are a few that are BOTH of these things – these films are rare and, I think, the greatest. Example – E.T., I never don’t laugh, and I never don’t cry.

Daschle Vision

Isabelle Archer — Sat, 31 Jan 2009 06:14:42 +0000

People are talking about Tom Daschle’s maybe tax problems and how they maybe might possibly affect his nomination by President Obama. It seems Daschle accepted the services of a car and driver without exactly paying for them…it also seems he’s paid for them since then but I suppose the damage has already been done. What more people should be talking about, of course, is Tom Daschle’s glasses. Who’s paying for those specs? Who’s footing the bill for that fashion forward eyewear, hmm? Take a gander:

Covet.

Seriously, lotsa folk have beef with the glasses, but I like ‘em. It’s kind of like how the only way you can tell which mouse is Mickey and which mouse is Minnie is by what they are wearing. I think everyone in Washington should be assigned an accessory in order for me to differentiate between them with greater ease. At least, all the older white gentlemen should do this. Might I suggest a corsage with secret water gun for the darling Mr. Kucinich?

The Obamas are coming over for Potluck, Dear!

Isabelle Archer — Tue, 20 Jan 2009 15:01:51 +0000

Watching Barack and Michelle greet Dubya and Laura. Wow. Michelle towers over George W. in her heels. Also – so cute! – she brought a present. It’s a white box with a red ribbon, probably some type of cake? Oh man I’m in love with her.

She’s also wearing something pretty but yellow, which means she will almost definitely change outfits again to something red/blue/black. Michelle Watch rages on.

Murderball Cheney at the Inauguration

Isabelle Archer — Tue, 20 Jan 2009 14:51:14 +0000

Reports say that Cheney will be attending the inauguration in a wheelchair, having injured himself while lifting things. Cheney is moving out of government housing, so that’s why all his things have to be lifted. Why he is doing this himself, however, is unclear. A man with as many heart problems as he has and who is, as far as I know, financially doing rather well. This article breaks down the incredible amount of cash both Bush and Cheney will receive just for moving out. You’d think that 2.2 million dollar sticker would cover a U-Haul.

Maybe he’s cheap, maybe it’s a cover for something even more problematic with his health. But right now the images beg to be contrasted with FDR’s insistence on not being seen in his wheelchair. FDR wanted to appear strong to his fellow Americans and to people around the world. Could you imagine Dick Cheney putting on a brave face for anyone but himself?

The images also make for an interesting before/after comparison of how two terms in the executive office might age a person (See also: GW).

Here’s a video about DC’s injury: